so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
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