So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize
