tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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