i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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