if i can run in heels then i can drive
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Randomize
