do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
