so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
