and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
The air was thick with penises
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
