Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
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