butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
