DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
