What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
