If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
