sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
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