he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize
