they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
