She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
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