He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Randomize
