i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
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