at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
