Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
I just had sex on a roof
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
