I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
I am mentally ready for anal.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Randomize
