you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Randomize
