I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
I skipped work to stalk him.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Randomize
