You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
