i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
I got her a Nickelback box set.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize