all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
