First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
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