dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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