We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
