this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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