You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
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