My hair reeks of homosexuality.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Randomize
