do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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