after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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