one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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