Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
I party with great urgency now.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize