I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize