She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
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