so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Randomize
