who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Randomize