It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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