just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
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