I can't breathe out the right side of my face
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
God I need to hump something, right now.
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