Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Randomize
