OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
hell yes lets make some ravioli
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Randomize
