Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize