i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
Randomize
