apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
she looked like the before picture.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Randomize
