The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize
