On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
3 2 1 whiskey
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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