My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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