I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize
