Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Someone signed my nipple.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
