When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
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