Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Randomize
