I molested 6 butterflies tonight
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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