hell yes lets make some ravioli
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
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