I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Randomize
