Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
