Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
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