true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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