I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
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