Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Randomize
