last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
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