Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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